Hot Girl in Progress: Becoming the Girl Who Chooses Herself

I’m in an era of change. Life is shifting in ways I didn’t expect, and suddenly the things I thought I wanted just… don’t fit anymore. I’m not who I was, but I’m not fully sure who I’m becoming either.

Some days I feel lonely. Other days I feel stagnant. And when I reach for my old comforts, I find they no longer comfort me. I know that’s a good thing, growth always is, but it’s also a strange place to be.

After ending a very long relationship, I’m learning how to feel valuable in the world again. I’m relearning what I like and don’t like; and now that I’m a fully grown woman, that list is long. Not just in the dating pool, but in life as a whole.

For example…

• I don't do small talk with people who say bad things about me in rooms I’m not in.

• I don't want to pretending I’m perfect.

• No time for men who can’t hold a conversation of substance.

• I don't do friendships that feel like judgment.

• I wont stand in rooms that make me feel insecure.

  
  

The more space I’ve taken to breathe and be with myself, the more I realize I’m allowed to be picky...not just with love, but with my time, my energy, my friendships, and my peace.

Now, don’t get me wrong, there’s a part of me that thinks, “Maybe this is my one-night-stand era.” But in all honesty? I’m nowhere near ready for that. I thought I could fill the gap in my bored brain with flirty banter and cute guys, but the real magic has been in my friendships with other single women.

The hype girls who…

• Notice my patterns and call them out without judgment.

• Say, “Let him be nice, it doesn’t have to mean anything.”

• Text me the perfect savage comeback when a boy makes me cry.

• Cheer me on in whatever shenanigans I’m plotting.

  
  

These women give me the freedom to find my way without pressure. They’re not here to fix me or teach me...just to stand by me, steadfast and full of unconditional love.

If you’re finding yourself in the “after” phase of a relationship that didn’t show up the way you hoped, here’s the truth:

You don’t need to lose weight.

You don’t need to rush into a new relationship.

You don’t need to prove anything.

You just need to let yourself enjoy life again. Laugh at the awkward moments. Take up space in the places that light you up. Say yes to the random girls’ nights. And surround yourself with women who will dance in the kitchen with you, hype up your new adventures, and remind you that happy girls really are the prettiest girls.

The in-between phase isn’t a holding pattern...

it’s the most important part of the journey. It’s where you remember how to breathe, how to enjoy your own company, and how to set a new standard for what you will and will not accept.

Don’t get so busy focusing on what’s next that you forget to exist in this transition phase.

The in-between might not always feel comfortable, but it’s needed. This is the space where you break old habits, rewrite old patterns, and open the door for the magic you’ve been craving.

If you keep moving through life as the old version of you, the old story will keep unfolding; just with new characters. If you want a new story, you have to pause first.

Even if this era feels sad because it’s rooted in loss, it’s still the foundation of what’s next. Be in it. Feel it. Find your way through it.

Because if you skip this part, you skip the getting-to-know-yourself part...and if you don’t know yourself, how can you possibly know what makes you happy?

Being happy isn’t about doing what’s expected or what feels like obligation. It’s about choosing yourself, again and again, and doing more of what feels good. The right girl tribe can give you that and so much more.

So here’s your permission slip:

you don’t need all the answers right now. Just joy, a little mischief, and a girl gang that gets it.

If you’re ready for more soul fuel in your week (plus the occasional surprise treat to support your own glow-up) join my Glow Getters Club.

It’s our free insiders club for women learning to put themselves back on the list, and it’s the next best thing to having your own personal hype squad in your back pocket.

Because you don’t have to figure it all out alone...and you deserve friends who will remind you that this new chapter is yours to enjoy.

[Join the Glow Getters Club here]